The Dreamer 22


I'm a dreamer. I know that I'm not the only one, but the sad part about me is that I pray and believe in the unattainable dreams. Nothing that I hope for will ever come true (without a miracle). I have a lot of mixed feelings about pretty much everyone I know. Basically, I have a lot of issues. But who doesn't? My friends think that I live this great life, I mean I'm generally a happy person, I have not one but 6 best friends, I'm healthy, pretty (so I've been told), and have a great big family that loves me to no end. When I think of myself that way then I can see what they mean. But they don't know what really goes on inside of my head, or more importantly, my heart. As hard as I try to describe my mixed feelings and anxiety they just don't seem to get it. So this is why I created this tumblr. None of them know about it, and I like it that way. Because here I can post my true feelings without having to worry about those judgmental stares or looks of disapproval. Here I can just be me. No more keeping things bottled up inside. And if you read my posts please don't judge me either. If you can do that then I welcome you and thank you.

Ask me anything

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23rd April 2012

There Goes My Heart Again…

Remind me how you managed to creep back into my every thought again?

I don’t understand.

I was doing so well.

Staying so strong.

For three whole years.

And after one good meeting

And one precious story

The walls that I had managed to successfully put up

Have come tumbling down.

Only you could accomplish such a feat. 

And I shouldn’t be so surprised.

Because after all, you are pretty amazing.

But now I’m screwed.

Because I have no chance.

You’ve already forgotten me.

So now I have to do what I do best.

Rebuild the wall.

And pray that you never get the chance to knock it down again.

Because that’s all I’ve got

To protect me from the incredible mystery that I call You.

But before I can start rebuilding,

I have to accomplish an even more difficult feat.

I have to find and catch my heart again.

Because it seems to have run off.

As usual.

Luckily I have a pretty good idea of where it is…

But catching it again is the real challenge.

~The Breathless Dreamer 

Tagged: There Goes My Heart AgainYouAnd the wall falls down againTime to rebuildThe unattainable dreamsBrb gotta go catch my heart

27th March 2012

katiebarker: ^^ My freakin motto lol  ~The Ugly Dreamer

katiebarker:

^^

My freakin motto lol 

~The Ugly Dreamer

Source: makemestfu.net

27th March 2012

Things I Think About

Love

Love Love Love

Love

Love Love

Love Love Love Love Love Love

Love

Love Love 

Love Love Love 

Love 

~The Sleepy Dreamer

Tagged: Things I think aboutlove love love

26th February 2012

My life… ~The Insomniac Dreamer

My life…

~The Insomniac Dreamer

Source: bencobane

26th February 2012

~The Truthful Dreamer

~The Truthful Dreamer

Source: sonicyoouth

25th February 2012

Uh oh…

That horrible moment when

You realize that 

One bad decision

Might ruin everything

Lets hope it doesn’t.

So much is already ruined

That it would kill me if 

I just made everything worse.

~The Worried Dreamer

Tagged: Uh ohone bad decisionworrydread

24th February 2012

I’m Mrs. Lonely

That horrible moment when

you find out

that

one of your biggest fears was actually a reality.

Turns out that no one liked me my freshman year.

And the worst part is that 

I found out from one of my now best friends

who also didn’t like me freshman year.

I know that she was just being honest with me

which I appreciate

but some things are just better left unsaid

And that is something that I should have never found out.

And ya, she tried to make me feel better by saying that it’s all in the past and that

everyone likes me now

and that “not a bad word is ever said about me”

But I don’t know if I can really believe that.

And the worst part is that I was sick today.

So my friends who came to visit me just left with my mom to go see a performance

that I had set up for us all to go to.

But I’m stuck at home.

Alone.

And sick. 

On a Friday night.

And all I can do is keep reliving freshman year 

and realizing that all my fears were realities.

And to be honest, I don’t know if I believe that anyone truly likes me.

Maybe they’re still pretending, like they did freshman year.

Who knows…

~The Lonely Dreamer

Tagged: True Lonelinesslonelywhen your fears turn into realitiesI'm Mrs. Lonely

13th February 2012

That Moment When

All the old feelings flood back

And you remember why you ever wasted so much time thinking about these things in the first place.

But then you wonder

Was all that time really wasted?

And you wish you had all the answers.

But you don’t.

So you have to keep thinking about it.

Because there’s no other way to cope with the feelings.

And you keep hoping that one day you’ll figure it all out.

But for now you have to just keep wishing

And keep letting your heart believe that 

It could all really happen one day.

So you keep dreaming 

And think to yourself

Someday…

~The Wishing-Upon-A-Star Dreamer

Tagged: when you wish upon a starwelcome backmore than a feelingsomeday

4th February 2012

Dancing Through Life

There’s just too much going wrong right now.

Too much to worry about at once.

Too much stress.

And all I can hear in my head is “Dancing Through Life” from Wicked.

And I’m starting to think that that’s exactly what I need to do.

Just stop worrying about it all and dance through life.

Because it’s just easier that way.

It has to be.

~The Dancing Dreamer

Tagged: dancing through lifewickedstressdance

21st January 2012

Progress

So today my mom and I went to the store to buy a bunch of healthy foods for my new diet.

Let me just say that Jerry’s Fruit Market on a Saturday afternoon is a complete zoo filled with vicious animals. Holy hell it was scary in there.

But we came out alive and with the healthy goods so yay!

I can already feel a change.

Even though I didn’t feel like it earlier, I pulled myself together and got my makeup on and everything so that I can go out tonight.

Got my skinny jeans on and my hair done sexy style so that I can go break some hearts. 

Lol who am I kidding…

But tonight should be fun! Hanging with the girls at the bowling alley. Whaddup

As I said before, change is good.

~The Progressive Dreamer

P.S. I love you, Flo!

(Aka the Progressive Girl, for those of you who didn’t get that haha) 

Tagged: change is goodI love Flo the Progressive Girl!Pulling myself togethergoing out tonightJerry's Fruit Market is a violent zoothe healthy goods are bought!